The Candy Counter: Every Sweet-Tooth Pouch We Stock, Sorted From Safe to Sneaky

Last time the shelf quietly assembled a full drinks menu when nobody was looking. This week I turned around and the same thing had happened with candy. Gummy bears. Three kinds of bubblegum. A slice of cheesecake. It's a whole sweet shop, and like every good candy counter, it has a front rack you'd hand to anyone and a back shelf you card people for. Let's walk it front to back.

The front rack: Iceberg's candy aisle (all 12mg)

Iceberg makes the sweet pouches you can recommend without a disclaimer, and the trick is the same on all three: a cooling menthol lift on the finish that stops the sugar before it turns into a toothache. I've called this brand the weirdest on the market, and I meant it as a compliment.

Gummy Bears is the headliner, the mixed bag in pouch form, bright fruit punch up front, a little sour in the middle, sweet on the back. It's the most literal candy on the shelf and the easy first pick. Grape Gum layers concord grape over a chewy bubblegum base and then drops that signature menthol coolant on the finish, playful, a little cold, the closest thing to grape bubblegum that won't rot a molar. And Strawberry Banana Gum is the smoothie of the three: sweet strawberry, creamy banana, bubblegum underneath, a subtle cool keeping it honest.

All three sit at 12mg, medium tier, slim format, no drip. Sweet enough to feel like a treat, not so strong they stop being one.

The back shelf: Pablo's 30mg sugar bombs

Now the part where the candy bites back. Both of Pablo's sweet entries pour at 30mg, the same extra-strong ceiling as the cola fountain from last week, and right at the top of the strongest pouches we sell. The flavors are pure playground; the dose is anything but.

Strawberry Cheesecake is genuinely impressive, sweet ripe strawberry over a creamy cheesecake base, rich on the back without going heavy. It tastes like the dessert cart at a steakhouse and hits like the bill. Bubblegum is the trap with the friendliest face in the building: classic pink bubblegum candy, sweet, nostalgic, and, crucially, no menthol to break it up or warn you. It lands hard and stays. Nothing about the taste tells you it's among the strongest things you could put under your lip.

So the rule from the drinks menu applies double here: the flavor is a costume, the milligrams are the truth. If 30mg is still an abstract number to you, read the strength explainer before you order something called Bubblegum, and if you're sorting the Pablo lines out, here's the difference between them.

While we're here: this shop has a bubblegum problem

Count them. Grape Gum, Strawberry Banana Gum, and Pablo's literal Bubblegum. Three of the five sweet pouches are built on a bubblegum base. If pink-candy nostalgia is your thing, you're spoiled. If it isn't, steer toward Gummy Bears (fruit punch, not gum) or Strawberry Cheesecake (dessert, not gum) and you're clear.

Order in one move

• Safe to hand anyone: Iceberg Gummy Bears, 12mg. The most literal candy on the shelf.
• Bubblegum diehard, sensible strength: Iceberg Grape Gum, 12mg. The menthol lift keeps it from cloying.
• Actual dessert, serious dose: Pablo Strawberry Cheesecake, 30mg. A real flavor; respect the number.
• Strongest, sweetest, sneakiest: Pablo Bubblegum, 30mg. No cooling, no warning. Established tolerances only.
• New here: none of the 30s. Start with the beginner guide and a low number first.

Every can is $9.99, every flavor, every strength, with 5, 10, 25, and 50-can packs once one becomes your regular. The candy aisle lives in Iceberg; the back shelf is in Pablo Exclusive. And if you'd rather your pouch taste like a drink than a dessert, the menu's still open next door.

WARNING: This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.